When travel doesn't go to plan: What anxiety has taught me about losing control
Guest post written by Matt from Matt's Next Steps, 26 August 2026
One of my biggest concerns before my first ever solo trip, was "what if?".
It felt like there were endless possibilities of things that could go wrong…
What if my flight gets cancelled? What if the weather sucks? What if I don't meet anyone nice? What if I get sick? The list goes on!
For many travellers, these are frustrating inconveniences. But for those of us with anxiety, they can feel much bigger and much more daunting.
You can spend weeks, months or even years researching a destination, comparing flights, planning routes and imagining every possible scenario to plan the perfect trip.
I'd like to say I'm pretty good at planning at this point! But somehow, life still finds a way to throw something unexpected at you!
I've done my fair share of travelling now, across Africa, Asia, Europe, and the Americas. So here are the biggest lessons I've learnt from the road, to help you manage when plans change through circumstances outside of your control.
Lesson 1: You can't plan for every eventuality
Anxiety loves predictability!
One of the reasons planning can feel so comforting is that it creates the illusion of certainty.
When I know where I'm going, when I'm arriving and what happens next, I feel way more prepared. Which means my brain can finally relax!
I'm a huge advocate for planning trips, and you should continue to plan your amazing adventures! But remember that life doesn't always respect your plans.
Nowadays I treat my plans as a guide rather than a rule. I build in contingency for things to go wrong. Accepting the unknown as part of the journey really calms me and has become one of the biggest tools in managing my anxiety. So, if and when the unexpected arrives, it doesn't send my body into fight or flight!
My first ever solo trip across Southeast Asia was planned down to the tiniest detail before I left.
But once I arrived, met amazing people, my plans needed to be fluid! That's the good side of accepting flexibility, and it’s much easier than to change your plans for an ‘upgrade’.
But during that same trip, I had vehicle break-downs, fully-booked hostels, delayed flights and even a pandemic... All of which required the same understanding that you can't plan for everything, and the flexibility to manage it.
It’s not always easy to adapt, but throughout that trip, I learnt what worked for me. Aside from planning, having things I could rely on to bring me comfort, back down to earth or provide a safe space were all invaluable.
Things like calling trusted friends to talk things through rationally helps. When that's not possible, even journalling or writing down my thoughts can help me challenge anxious thinking. Keeping healthy, with a good diet and sleeping well, is important to feeling good at home, I try to bring that aspect of my life into my travels as well.
Lesson 2: The first problem isn't always the real problem
I've noticed that when plans change unexpectedly, my brain immediately tries to solve every possible future problem.
In my head, a delayed flight turns into a missed connection, which turns into arriving late at night in an unknown destination, missing a hotel booking, and calculating how expensive it might become…
Within minutes, I'm emotionally reacting to five different imaginary situations. When in reality, it's only one thing that's happened.
It's fine to consider these eventualities, but now when something goes wrong, I try asking:
"What's the real problem I need to solve right now?"
Not tomorrow, not 3 steps ahead, not the worst-case scenario. Simply the next problem so I can take things one step at a time.
This approach doesn't remove anxiety, but stops it from multiplying out of control.
Another similar realisation I've had is that the event itself and my anxious interpretation of the event are not the same thing.
A delayed flight could be an issue. But it doesn’t automatically mean the trip is going down the pan.
There's often a huge gap between what's happened and what your brain predicts will happen. So learning to recognise that gap can be incredibly powerful.
Lesson 3: I've never been as stuck as I thought I was
One of the recurring patterns I've noticed is how often anxiety tells me I have no options when a situation arises.
When plans change unexpectedly (which is common in travel), it can feel like every door has suddenly closed.
But when I look back on difficult travel experiences, I've almost always found another route forward. Whether it's alternative flights, new accommodation or anything else!
One example that sticks with me was a trip to Amsterdam during a mega European heatwave. All the flights home were cancelled due to issues at the airport. Which also meant that all the Eurostar trains were fully booked as well. There wasn't another flight that I could get home for several days, and I wasn't sure if my insurance covered it…
But, after reviewing all my options, I ended up getting an overnight ferry from Amsterdam to Newcastle, followed by a train south!
The moral of that story is: It's not always ideal, but there's always a solution!
I find that asking yourself this question is helpful:
"If this situation happened to a friend, what options would I suggest to them?"
We’re far more resourceful when solving problems for other people, than ourselves!
Lesson 4: Control what you can, release what you can't
Letting go of things you can’t control sounds simple and obvious (though it's actually very difficult in practice). But, I couldn't write these lessons without including this reminder.
When something goes wrong, my instinct is usually to search for more certainty, but that’s not always possible.
Last year, I spent a total of 4 days waiting for flights trying to get from Kathmandu airport to Lukla in Nepal. Weather in Lukla was variable, and bad weather notoriously grounds flights here!
I was part of a tour group who organises everything, so I really shouldn't have been stressing about the weather. There was nothing I could do besides sit back and wait until they called our names to fly. Yet I couldn't help but refresh the apps, look at the weather on the livecam, check for updates.
Though I was drained, by the third or fourth day of waiting in an airport, I finally came to that realisation and was accepting of any eventuality. If only I had that mentality on day 1…
I've found it helpful to separate situations into two categories: things I can influence and things I cannot (this works in normal life as well as travel).
Whilst I can't influence the weather, airline decisions, traffic, people's behaviour, I can control things like:
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Being prepared for alternative arrangements (I considered helicopters or even switching to another hike)
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Contacting staff
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Keeping my phone charged
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And most importantly, looking after myself physically (sleeping, eating)
It doesn't make uncontrollable situations disappear, but redirects the energy towards actions that genuinely help.
Lesson 5: Don't forget the physical side of anxiety
When plans change unexpectedly, it's easy to become completely consumed by problem-solving.
I've learned that the most useful thing I can sometimes do (at least for myself) is surprisingly basic:
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Drink water.
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Eat something.
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Sit down.
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Take slow breaths.
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Go for a walk if possible.
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Find a quieter environment
An anxious brain and an exhausted body are a difficult combination.
I've often discovered that what felt like a crisis at 9am felt significantly more manageable after food, rest and a chance to slow down.
Once again, these actions don't solve external problems. But they do allow the mental capacity needed to solve them.
Lesson 6: Build confidence, not perfection
For years, I approached travelling as though the goal was to create a flawless plan.
The problem with flawless plans is that reality gets involved…Now I think the better goal is confidence!
Confidence isn't believing nothing will go wrong. Confidence is believing that if something does go wrong, you'll find a way through it.
It shifts the focus from preventing every problem to developing trust in your ability to respond to problems.
The more evidence you collect of yourself adapting, the easier that trust becomes. I've been travelling for over 7 years now and whilst I still naturally get anxious, when something unexpected occurs - I'm much better at managing it!
As I’ve built confidence in myself, I’ve been able to increase the so-called difficulty! I’ve gone from short holidays, to backpacking Southeast Asia, to Central America. Now more recently, I’ve been able to spend 3 months in Central Asia and overland West Africa! Things still go wrong, but now I’m able to do the trips I’d always dreamed of!
Lesson 7: Separate the feeling from the action
When anxiety is at its loudest, there's one question that I constantly return to that I find particularly grounding:
"What would I do if I weren't anxious" or "what would someone without anxiety do?"
Not because anxiety can simply be switched off, but because it helps separate the emotion from the action, by looking at the bigger picture.
Usually the answer is something practical:
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Speak to a member of staff
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Check for alternative routes
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Take a break
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Wait for more info
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Focus on the next step
The anxiety might still be there, but now I'm moving forward despite it, which I think is a big part of managing travelling with anxiety.
I like to think a step in the right direction = a step away from whatever is triggering it.
Final thoughts
Travel has taught me something that applies to almost every area of life: uncertainty is unavoidable.
No amount of planning can remove every risk, prevent every disruption or guarantee a perfect outcome.
What we can develop and improve is the ability to respond.
For people with anxiety, resilience isn't about staying calm at all times. It's about discovering, again and again, that we are often more capable than anxiety tells us we are.
Plans will change. Unexpected things will happen.
And while that may never become comfortable, it can become manageable.
Because the goal isn't to control everything.
It's to trust that, whatever happens next, you'll deal with it one step at a time.
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